MM04: Follow Your Arrow ✨💫

Yesterday I said goodbye to a friend. 

I’m sitting at my favorite coffee shop, sipping a latte that the barista, my fiance, poured me. When our good friend walks in, like he always does on Sundays, and most mornings at the cafe. He tells us he’s leaving, moving away..today. We knew he was moving soon, but all of us in the cafe thought we had more time. So this was goodbye for good. Some of us cried, yet after he walked out the door, trying not to feel too bummed,  I just put on my headphones and put my head down. “Are You Sure” by Kacey Musgraves + Willie Nelson comes on… of course.  

“Look around you, look down the bar from you

At the faces that you see

Are you sure this is where you wanna be?

These are your friends, but are they real friends?

Do they love you as much as me?

Are you sure this is where you wanna be?”

Kacey Musgraves, you’ve done it again. And how cool is it that I got to sit there, sad about a friend leaving while looking around at the amazing friends around me? Holy shit, what an amazing moment.

I love Kacey Musgraves. I’ve talked about my love for Taylor Swift, but this is far deeper. I found her when she wrote a song called Undermine that was sung in one of the first episodes of the show Nashville. Her version is a million times better. It came out in 2012-- the midst of my junior high years. Prime awkwardness. But I would watch/listen to the video of her singing over and over.

Oof. “It’s a whole lot harder to shine, than undermine.” I definitely didn’t understand this song at 12, and even at 25, I am 100% still learning that. 

I love that first and foremost, Kacey is a songwriter (Fact: She also wrote “Mama’s Broken Heart” by Miranda Lambert). She is a storyteller. She was someone who grew up in a small texas town, worked dead-end jobs, yet still followed her dreams of being a songwriter. She is honest and real. I fell in love with her then and have followed along with her musical journey ever since. I have 3 tattoos inspired by her songs, and many others planned. It only felt right to talk about her today… and what do you think of a 2-week spotlight? 

Let’s do this.

She released her first full album when I was 15 years old (2013), which is 10 years ago, weird right?! It’s fun to reflect back on it. I remember so vividly what I was going through and dealing with at that age. I ended my sophomore year of high school feeling more insecure and lost than ever before. The summer before junior year I left my friend group and started the next year feeling extremely lonely. I was also dealing with severe anxiety, and depression, which felt like a never-ending battle. 

At the same time, I had just started working at a little boutique. It was, thankfully, a workplace that I loved, and allowed me to be myself. I was re-falling in love with fashion, music, and art. It was a lonely time, but it forced me into a time of self-reflection and healing as well. 

On the days I was working at the boutique, I was very picky about the music I played, naturally. My go-to was either a Taylor Swift or Kacey Musgraves station. “Follow Your Arrow" played over and over at the boutique. So much so, my coworkers started to notice, and told me it was good, but asked to switch it up haha. It was my anthem. I loved the honesty and rawness. That song was the first I had ever personally heard in country music that openly talked about sex, weed, gay marriage, and leaving religion…all in one.

I sang this verse, while agreeing with it, also feeling hesitant due to my religious upbringing. But although she talked about topics I wasn’t yet comfortable with, I knew the whole point and message of the song was the bridge and final chorus: 

It is a song about truly being yourself. To follow what feels right in your gut. And live your own damn life. 10 years ago, that song was almost foreshadowing my life. At 15 I would never have guessed I would become a tattoo artist. Honestly, I never thought I would do any of those things Kacey sings about in Follow Your Arrow.

At 25, listening to this song, I almost imagine singing it to my 15-year-old self, in hopes she holds onto the message as tight as she can. Then again, I look back and see that I already did.

Damn.

***Kacey Musgraves continued next week! ***

Thank you for being here, seriously, thank you.