But the question I still have, and I’m still working through- did my hiatus stunt my growth? I feel as if I have 9 years of blackness that was wasted, without practice. But were they a waste? Did the growth I personally gained, actually allow me to come back to my music at the right time? Was the break worth the significance I now put into this art form of mine? 

But I need to be honest. It has been a struggle and a fun-sucker trying to produce my songs. While I’ve never admitted it’s been easy, and have fully expressed my struggles, I got to a point where I didn’t even want to try anymore. I’ve felt like a major roadblock has been in my way, preventing me from bringing my songs to life. I’m a songwriter and a singer who has a few years of practice on the guitar. I started this journey, never believing I would ever be a producer of any kind. But I also want to so desperately bring my songs to life. 

With diving into my songwriting, I knew I needed to create a process that would allow and assist me to quickly capture ideas I have. I needed to organize these ideas in a way that I can continuously work on them, and slowly finish a song one by one.

I decided to record my song called “Hardest Thing To Do.” I began by getting the guitar recorded. I had finally felt confident in the measures and beat of the song. I recorded the guitar as I counted out the beats, to ensure the song's timing fit together as I planned. I was able to get the guitar in the first 3 tries, and felt confident in it. I added an EQ, removing the low frequencies while adjusting the mid and high frequencies slightly.

I didn’t expect how much I would feel and recognize the emotions I had held in my back. It’s been humbling to feel emotions that I know I've never dealt with before. Instead of continuing to push them down, I taught my body how to release these wounds, let go and relax.

Songwriting is my absolute favorite form of writing. I love to be able to put words to thoughts and emotions, added with a melody that you can feel through your whole body. I love studying lyrics, analyzing song construction, and figuring out how a song is going to come together. It brings me so much joy and bliss.

Summer of 2012 I recorded a 5 song Ep. 

At the time, I was working at a ballpark snack shack, with a talented guy named Tyler. The snack shack was a tiny little building, in the middle of 4 ballpark fields, and 1 soccer field.  We sold burgers, fried chicken, and whole lot of candy to the local small town sports community.