MM02: A Reminder - You are Enough 🌸

I was the little girl that did everything right.

I wore modest clothes. 

I barely talked to boys. 

I went to church every Sunday. And when I was there, I was attentive and learned everything I possibly could. 

When I was about 9, I remember just sitting at my kitchen counter sobbing. I was so worried that my testimony wasn’t strong enough. And if it wasn’t strong enough, God wouldn’t love me and I would never be able to achieve all that I wanted. So I cried. Again, at 9 years old.

I was also the teenager that read every single page of the church’s youth handbook, over and over. Making sure I was still doing everything right. When my boyfriend slightly brushed my boob one day (over clothes might I add)… I told my church bishop because I felt so guilty.

When I was about 20, I worked in a very beautiful, highly-known temple in Salt Lake City. I would run around frantically trying to get to where I needed to go during my shift. And might I add, I worked Saturday mornings, which was the prime time for weddings. One day I got so mad because all I did was deal with weddings when I really wanted to help with the different religious ordinances. Yet here I was helping another bride that didn’t seem to be super stoked to be there. 

I strived to be the best possible member. Trying to serve, be kind, follow the rules, read my scriptures, pray, do all the things and check all the boxes.

And I wasn’t happy. Quite the opposite actually. Funny how that works.

Yet I couldn’t figure out why. Why I didn’t feel like I fit in. Why it didn’t feel right… I just didn’t get it. 

And then my best friend told me she was gay.

I left.

The church I never felt good enough in.

The church that I literally did everything right in.

The church that I still have a love for, because I know it has still done good things for the people that I love.

But when I left.. I truly felt free. 

This song is a reminder to listen to your gut. Follow what feels right. Follow the light inside of you. That voice telling you when it’s time to go. That same voice that tells you, that you are enough. 

Because you are. You are 100% enough. I’m going to say it again for the kids in the back… YOU ARE ENOUGH.

You are light. You are amazing. You’ve fucking got this. 

And if you don’t quite believe it yet, just know that I believe in you. I am here for you. I will hold your hand, give you a hug and keep reminding you.

This is a space, whether online or in my tattoo chair, to feel safe, no matter your religious background.

This is a space for humans. Humans that feel all the emotions, good or bad, and continue to heal.

Thank you for being here. Seriously. Thank you.